How I know I must be a woman
For years I wondered if I was a woman, or just a sensitive guy. When I lived 100% as a guy, I remember always feeling the tug of humiliation almost every time I expressed the way that I felt about something, especially to other guys. For example, me complaining to my friend:
Me: “People at work are so focused on looking good, they don’t care about what they’re doing. It’s so frustrating!”
Mansplaining “Regular” guy: “That’s the way the world works, you need to get better at understanding the dynamics of the work environment and how you can make yourself more visible”.
Then a flash of shame of my “naivety” would follow, and confused I would think, dude, I’m just trying to express how I feel, can we talk about our feelings first? Can you just empathize with me for a minute? And then I would start to explain myself, and how I understand this but I’m trying to understand our cultural environment and what is causing this. And then he would mansplain that one too as if I was too naïve and thick to understand what he’s saying. Then I would start to wonder where I might purchase a flamethrower, but realizing that these are hard to come by on a moment’s notice, I would leave the conversation feeling humiliated and like there was something wrong with me because this sort of thing always happens. Am I really that naïve? Is it totally inappropriate to express my feelings? Am I acting like a woman?
Men get mansplained by other men too. Well, sensitive guys at least. At first, I thought, well I’m just a sensitive guy. But after I started living as a woman most of the time, I found that oddly, men rarely mansplain anything to this girl, I guess they expect me to be emotional and accept it, and maybe even enjoy it. And my conversations with women (when I’m a woman) are so much easier and more emotionally satisfying. What is going on here? And why are men rarely mansplaining to me as a woman when they mansplain to women all the time?
Well, something strange started happening. I still work as a man (not ready to give up easy street). When I express my frustrations at work and people start mansplaining me, the bitch takes over and I double down. And it works because this bitch is delivering her punch through her man persona, and damned I’m loving how effective he can be when I’m delivering my message through him. Like “Let’s clean this shit up!”
And when I’m presenting as a woman, I don’t feel the need to complain very much, I can always have him do it for me. Why bother when I’m a woman. I let the guy make the money and deal with all the BS, and when I’m a woman, I get to just have fun. Pretty good deal.
I could sit here and debate what does it mean to be a man, and whether I’m a man or a woman, but that’s a pointless theoretic concept. One thing I can see is that “regular men” being criticized for expressing their feelings appears to be normal. (Not natural, but normal as in average society norms). And I simply don’t need to be part of that in my personal life. I can just be a woman. It’s easier (as long as I have him around as needed) and A LOT more fun. And I mean A LOT! And I can spread joy, love, and fun more easily.
Yes a good deal. I never thought I would find my fabulocity by being a woman. But hey, we don’t get to choose what works for us, if the shoe fits, just wear it.
