Imagine if we taught this to kids. I wonder what age is the best to do this, because some young kids might use this as an excuse to do whatever they want. I didn’t fully appreciate this until I was well into my adult years. I’m now very good at immediately engaging from toxic behavior both professionally and personally. But it still really bothers me emotionally a good part of the time. I’m working on accepting / normalizing that toxic behavior is to be expected everyday, I don’t need to rehash my frustration and depression about it.

What has helped me is knowing that it is not really about me, it’s the other persons problem (depression, abuse, feeling overwhelmed, being afraid). But it does affect me if for example I have to work with such people. In which case I have one of two strategies:
1) Ask then if they are ok, or what’s bothering them. This defuses it for most people
2) Skewer them in public, so they understand that they better not mess with me. Also makes it clear that I don’t buy their arguments (I do this so the observers who matter know where I’m coming from - usually they respect me for it and cheer). I have to do this occasion with certain people.