Lisa, thanks for the note back and consideration. I was aware that many trans women had issues and problems with the AG concept, but I was NOT aware that many had problems with professionals refusing them care. Professionals who CHOSE to believe that ALL trans women are the same (believing them ALL to be AG), and that they could draw conclusions based on limit information. And I was NOT aware of the extent to which right wing groups weaponized AG against them, probably to get power. Thanks for bringing that up.

I hate to use the world "but" here, and I could chose to use a different word, but I'm being honest here....

I understand their pain, and I appreciate it, but I went through pain of my own, that was clarified significantly when I came across the AG theory. And I know a lot of trans women who feel the same. If somebody had a different experience that was painful, I appreciate that, but it doesn't give them the right to demonize people like me. Yes, people should please share their pain, but they shouldn't be making comments like:

"The very fact that you speak of trans women as « men who want to be women » says all we need to know about your understanding of trans women"

"Transgender women aren't and never were men."

This proves the points made in my post. Despite my saying things like:

"Every trans woman’s story is unique."

"The motivations, background, feelings, etc of trans women varies considerably. "

"I understand that trans women have a lot of stress in their lives, so I can understand why that might FEEL that way, but to publicly speak out and demonize others as a result of your own frustration and confusion is counterproductive. You could speak out positively on the matter helping people to understand."

They still CHOSE to demonize me.

And so it makes me wonder, did some of them also CHOOSE to not seek other professionals (therapists in particular) who didn't subscribe to the theory that ALL trans women are AG? Did they CHOOSE to weaponize their experience and be angry at anybody who wasn't just like them? Did they CHOOSE to get retribution by attacking people who are AG? Are they any better than the right wing people who also weaponized AG but in a different way? There are assholes in EVERY demographic, trans included. Yes being trans is hard, yes we should give trans women slack, but when they ATTACK others, without any consideration, at some point my compassion begins to wane and I just don't want to engage with assholes. Life is hard for most people, and one of the biggest lessons, is to not spread the hate in your own way....to STOP it.

After reading your response, I looked into AG in more detail (It's been a while, since I looked at the details of the theory), and I found this bit interesting:

"Autogynephilia Theory: Blanchard proposed that there are two main types of MTF transgender people: "homosexual transsexuals" (who are attracted to men and transition to become women to be with men) and "autogynephilic transsexuals" (who are aroused by the thought of themselves as women). This theory of autogynephilia suggests that some transgender women transition primarily due to a sexual fetish rather than a genuine gender identity. Many in the transgender community and some researchers find this theory pathologizing and stigmatizing."

I do NOT agree with the part that there are ONLY 2 main types, in particular the bit about "homosexual" transsexuals. I was not aware of that statement, which I totally disagree with. (i.e. part of the overall theory). But I DO agree with the "autogynephilic transsexual" portion (i.e. an AG transsexual, vs the AG theory overall). So a big part of the disconnect is semantics. Sadly, some trans women have CHOSEN to believe that they OWN the definition of the word "trans woman". Could I use another term than AG, maybe, but that would be sidestepping the issue. I suppose some people spend a lot of their time arguing semantics and they believe online battles with a few people validates their position and defines their lives. Maybe I'm lucky because I live in Manhattan - and maybe some people are more isolated and have to fill their time attacking other people online. If that's the case, I wish we could find a way to replace the spaces where we meet in person, the spaces that the Internet has destroyed as people meet mostly online. (e.g. SF, LA, NY, Las Vegas have lost ALL their trans meeting places). Furthermore online is filled with bots and angry people lashing out to get attention, it's very unhealthy for all of us. (And sadly, it's the platforms that win).

BTW: I noticed that you wrote a book about being trans. I did as well, if you're interested, I commented it about in a response to a comment from Lea Mason.

Cheers and thanks for the dialog.