Melodie, yea there's a lot of finger pointing always going on about men vs. women, in large part because they don't understand each other, complicated by the tendency for people in general to assume certain behaviors based on whether you're male or female (both in everyday life and in blogging/writing where people tend to simplying arguements)

My personal situation is somewhat unique in that I live as and identify as both a man and a woman. (People find that hard to believe). Living as both a man and a woman isn't too difficult to understand (e.g. it's easier for have fun as a woman and get noticed while going out socially, but it's easier to work as a man and deal with everyday life).

What's harder for people to understand or even believe, is that I could identity and have the attitudes of both, yet not be fully either one. The biggest issue with me is that I am NOT OK with the idea that a man cannot have feminine sensibilities. I have struggled my whole life being ridiculed constantly about expressing my feelings, demonstrating caring about things (e.g. doing quality work and understanding how it impacts people and long term relationships vs. just looking good), being creative etc. And in paritcular women rejecting me as a romantic partner because I'm not like most other men, I try to get to know them as a person, like really know them, before getting too sexual or jumping into bed - but that is a huge red flag to the women I've interacted with - they see me as weird or weak, and then complain to me about men that treat them poorly.

I eventually decided I want no part of straight male/female relationships based on what I've experienced, and appears to be all too common.

This is obviously complex stuff and much of it I can only assert as part of my personal experenece although I know so many other people can relate to it. (I wrote a book about my experience and get really interesting feedback. It came out last year, but I'm now starting to be able to promote it so I can meet people and talk about it....covid made it difficult. Info at https://www.mariakonner.com/)

Thanks for asking