Porn is an extremely complex topic, and it should be, given that it maintains one of the largest shares of traffic on the Internet and is used by pretty much every demographic (e.g. the Vatican is one of the largest per capita downloaders of BDSM porn). I’m split on my opinion of porn:
- It’s HARMFUL to real relationships — absolutely I agree with pretty much everything in the article. The main point being that if you’re in a good relationship, porn is probably best avoided, you shouldn’t need it. I’ve interviewed several porn stars and producers…yes it’s very fake, it’s a job, and many of them really enjoy cuming the best, because “that’s when the shoot is finally over”.
- However, it’s HELPS people who have been rejected — I was never interested in porn until I was so desperately lonely after years and years of rejection, isolation, and extreme loneliness at which point I started using porn because it was so out of character for me. If it weren’t for porn I might very well have killed or seriously harmed somebody. I needed a relief value. And no, I’m not a scary disguising person and trying harder wouldn’t have made any difference (We don’t need to go into the details of why I was in this situation). So finally I was dating somebody who I wasn’t crazy about, but she liked me, and that was good enough for me after my horrible isolation. Out of desperation I married her. And not surprisingly I was in a terrible marriage. She was a big 12-step junkie who couldn’t stop putting me down. I couldn’t stand being around her. At first I didn’t use porn at all in our relationship, you shouldn’t have to. But after a few years of a hopeless marriage I was so angry and so sad that I felt forced to marry this person, that I started using porn again. If I didn’t have the porn, I might have seriously blown my top. I finally got divorced, and now I only use it when I’m single and really bored. Again, it’s helps me from blowing my top in protest of the dating cesspool.
Porn is in the same category as alcohol and cannabis. It can be both good and bad, and only is a problem when it becomes an addiction that interferes with your life. I rather have a great connected romantic relationship, and feel in touch with nature and in harmony with my work, and not use porn at all. I also would like to be the hero in a superhero movie — sadly reality doesn’t work that way. We live in a cesspool — online is a cesspool, the globally competitive work environment is, as well as politics. The realm of romantic relationships is infected with online trolls, users, people who have crazy ideas in their head about what romance is as they are influenced by advertising and Hollywood…utter cesspools of manipulation. I find it ironic that porn is probably cleaner because it is more straight forward than dating. With porn you know exactly what you’re getting and what you’re not getting — unless you’re a moron.
I’ve met all kinds of people in this world, and I found something beautiful and ironic with porn stars, lawyers, lobbyists, and politicians (talking behind the scenes). They are simultaneously the most disgusting and the most honest people I ever met. They aren’t lying about who they are and what they do. I would take them in a second over yet another full of shit person I’m meeting online or going out on a date with.
