What do you really worship and why? Lessons from Jerusalem.

There are many religions in this world, for example:

• Money and power
• Sex and power
• Fashion and power
• Victimhood, anger and hate
• Love

Most of which are of course egocentric. There is nothing wrong with a healthy ego, but there are many people in power who prey on inflating our egos — for example politicians, advertisers, and religious / cult leaders and dictators. This technique of controlling people has demonstrated century after century to be highly effective, and an essential tool for organizing and sustaining societies and economies. And one of the best ways to do this is with great stories complimented with great charisma.

I don’t buy for one second that most religious people actually worship “God”. They don’t know what they really worship and whether it’s out of love or fear, and whether it’s coming from their own mind or has been implanted. Back in the early 2000’s I spent several months over several trips in Jerusalem on a spiritual quest, and learned several things (btw: I’m Jewish):

Demographics mean nothing

There are 2 types of Jews: Cool people and Assholes.

There are 2 types of Christians: Cool people and assholes.

There are 2 types of Muslims: Cool people and assholes.

Demographics (religion, race, sexual expression/orientation, income, etc) have nothing to do with who you are. Our differences are manufactured by charismatic people and the media to control how we vote, support leaders, and buy things.

And there are just as many assholes in Jerusalem per capita as anyplace else. Probably more because they’re too serious.

People argue like children — without realizing what they’re arguing about

I found the most religious (e.g. Orthodox Jews) to be quibbling so much among themselves about stupid little shit like the kind of olive oil one can use on Shabbat (Sabbath), that they rarely talked about anything of substance (e.g. like sharing one’s philosophy on life) and couldn’t even visit many of their friends and relatives on Sabbath because of the little fucking differences in food being served!

As a result, they would have knock down, dragged out fights and pissing matches about how they’re right and you’re wrong without even realizing that they had fundamental differences, most of which came down to what is the purpose of prayer, which generally fell into 2 camps:

1. Traditional: The Old Man is up there with a clipboard recording everything you do, and those who pray more and follow the rules have not only a better chance of getting into heaven, but might even end up with one of the Penthouse suites
2. Modern: Prayer is for each individual to try to get in touch with themselves to make themselves a better person, and each person’s perspective is different and they are all pretty much valid. The Old Man doesn’t exist.

These two perspectives are VERY different. The first believes there is an all powerful God out there somewhere who is going to take care of us children. The second believes that we are the adults and must take care of ourselves and get along.

Life is full of filters and lessons for each of us to figure out for ourselves

Shavuot is a holiday in the late Spring where Jews traditionally goto Jerusalem from all over the world to study together literally all night, and then walk to the old city to watch the Sun rise over the Wailing Wall. On Shavuot I went to one of the big Jewish Institutions for that evening, excited to meet several great leaders who were speaking. As I sat down near the front row I noticed about 200 people from all over the world. I was excited to be inspired by these speakers. On this particular trip I went there specifically for this event.

These speakers were a bunch of arrogant assholes! They wanted to impress us with how much they knew about the bible. Not even a simple hello, and asking people why they were there. I tried to listen to this drivel hoping to glean some kind of insight and make my trip worth while, but after about 45 minutes I couldn’t stomach it anymore and got up to leave. As I was walking out, I noticed a crowd of people in the coffee room in the back. I went in there and found some really incredible people, and what lovely sharing we had. Those people, like me couldn’t stand the arrogant drivel either, and had the wherewithal to say NO and left too.

Like me, they were attracted to the quest for knowledge and sharing, and like me, they made it through the filter — they left when the putrid stench of egomania was too much. I discovered what Jerusalem was really about — it was both an attractor and a filter. The people there didn’t have any more insight or wisdom than anybody else, there were no answers written in stone. But it was a place that had a high concentration of people looking to discover some kind of great spirit or meaning. And you just needed to find the filter that separated the cool people from the egomaniacal assholes.

My final revelation at the Wailing Wall

I managed to stay until the lectures were over, about an hour before sunrise, by enjoying hanging out with the fellow “heathens” in the back coffee room. We all then walked about 45 minutes to the Wailing Wall. I was told that when the sun rose, the doves would fly out from the stones in the wall. I was thinking, “Oh, that’s bullshit, maybe somebody saw that once”.

We got the Wailing Wall, and as the Sun’s first morning rays hit the wall , the doves flew out from the stones in the wall! Wow! Maybe there is something here! And right then a female Cantor (Singer) started singing the most beautiful song. (We were on the co-ed side of the Wall: in the above picture on the right side with the white chairs vs. the left side which is men only). It was a heavenly experience, standing there listening to the music, staring at the Wailing Wall, the gold Dome of the Rock, the Mount of Olives — just taking in that I was at the epicenter of human spirit. As I felt the breeze across my face, I tried to picture God or some great spirit there with us. And in that moment of the culmination of my spiritual journey this is what I discovered:

Yup, there are assholes everywhere!

What the fuck!…..a bunch of young Hasidic jews (with the black robes) were throwing stones at us from the Male side. They were offended that there were women at the wall (on the designated co-end side). I shouted at them, “If you think God should strike us down, let him do it himself. You’re just throwing stones at people!”. Wow, there are assholes everywhere you go! However:

There are cool people everywhere!

In addition to the coffee room “heathens”, in the Old City I also met a Jewish general in the Israeli Army. He was full of incredible love, sharing and insight. We talked for over an hour, and remained pen pals. I remember one of the things he said to me:

• When you’re in your twenties you want to change the world
• When you’re in your thirties you want to just change some of the people around you
• When you’re in your forties you just want to work on changing yourself
• When you’re in your fifties and beyond, you finally realize that about the best you can do is just inspire children, the rest of us will be dead soon

He had more spirit and wisdom in his little finger than most of those asshole Rabbi’s had. (I didn’t meet any wise Rabbi’s, but I’m sure they have them).

There are assholes and cool people everywhere — you get to choose where to focus.

Onto the Valley of the Heathens to find “God”

After that trip to the Wailing Wall, my spiritual journey had come to a close. I didn’t need to back there again. (But I still would like to visit again as the olives are really good, I love seeing young army women walking around with machine guns on their shoulders while shopping at the Market, and the Red Sea is one of the few bodies of water I love to swim in — white sand, crystal clear warm water, you can wade out hundreds of feet and only be up to your waist).

It was about this time that I realized, maybe I should hang out with more of these “heathens” — those who weren’t infected with worshipping money, power, victimhood, and hate. I.e. people who were rejoicing in all the diversity of life that such power structures hate. I decided to get divorced and leave my suburban castle, and I moved to San Francisco where I found what I could never find in Jerusalem. But I am grateful for my lessons in Jerusalem, now nobody can lecture me on morality or religion, I am immune. And I’m having a lot of fun, and joy is where spirit and love is!

*****

I’m excited to finishing the final draft on my upcoming book. More at http://mariakonner.com