Yea, the biggest issue is that he lied and cheated, and that’s inexcusable. That being said, you can then consider things from his point of view.

I’m trans and have slept with both men and women (when I was a man). Now I sleep exclusively with men. When a “straight” guy is first dominated by a man, or is just having a simple sexual relationship, it is so different, so powerful, that a lot of guys discover a completely different part of themselves. And they need to see where it goes. In my case, I couldn’t give it up - it was so much fun and the power dynamic was so different.

There are tops and bottoms / doms and subs. I found that I liked when a female dominatrix dominated me. And I liked her, and the way she smelled - I don’t like the way men smell. But I found the she and most women weren’t interested in me as a man for whatever reason. I got a lot more attention as a woman from men, so I stayed with it. More fun, I can act myself, and it is literally 1000 times easier to get engagement from people no matter where I go (with the exception of straight meet markets).

I don’t know what your husband’s deal is, but they’re many profiles . Maybe he likes the way men smell and hanging out with them, or maybe he simply likes being dominated and the power-shift. In my case I learned to like men for more than just the sex, and I’m starting to like the way they smell…mainly because they treat me well and like me. It’s better than being an invisible powerless man, so I’m staying with it. (Plus I’m an entertainer in NYC. And that is a lot of fun as a trans woman).

Good luck, and remember this issue he has is about him, not your fault.